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REBECCAH DEAN Posts

Don’t Airbrush Me, Mother Fucker

So I tried to take a selfie after I got the upsetting news that I wasn’t accepted for a writing fellowship I really, really wanted. I didn’t get accepted last year either, but I got an encouraging message: they hated to turn me down, my work stood out, please apply next year, blah blah blah. A very nice message that made me really, really hope I’d get accepted this year. But now I got rejected again and was sent the same encouraging message, which means the whole thing was less personal than I thought when I got it last year.…

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Astrology, a Love Story

Berlin has a booming start-up scene and until recently I was working in it. Although occasionally the CEO, COO, CFO or other C-person may be someone 40+ who prefers the more “dynamic” (i.e. chaotic) atmosphere of a start-up, start-ups are mostly staffed with young people. Seriously. It’s almost like they have a sign above the door that says: Hark! All ye over 35 shalt not enter. I’m well over 35 and certainly do not have a “C” (or at least not a capital one) in my job title, and yet I managed to sneak in. Although I did occasionally get…

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Hire Me.

So, a well-paid, relatively stress free freelance gig of mine is about to end. I would say that I was fired only you don’t really “fire” freelancers. When my boss broke the news to me, he told me unfortunately our “collaboration” was ending. It ends up I didn’t have enough background knowledge to write about the topic at the company with any real authority. Granted, they should have known that from the beginning. If memory serves, I think I said something at the interview like, “This is not at all my field, and I have no prior industry knowledge whatsoever.…

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2 x 3 For 2019 (And One Surprise)

Three best books I’ve been a big reader for as long as I can remember, but occasionally I find writers who mean something more to me personally than, ‘Gee, that was a pretty good book.’ Usually these writers have one or more of the following characteristics: In other words, writers whose work I admire who are also somewhat like me. Since I’m straight, this writer crush stuff can get a little complicated if the writer in question happens to be a man. If I ever met said writer in person and gushed out all my enthusiasm, what if he ended…

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20 Artists for 2020

Dear Phantom Reader, This is one of two New Year’s pieces I plan to post here, although I have to wait for something to arrive to write the second post. Oh the suspense, what could it be?? You’ll just have to wait a few days to find out, or longer if I don’t feel like posting which could also be the case. I’m a loyal sweetheart for the most part, if I do say so myself, but when it comes to this blog I am a bit of a fickle bitch. But D.P.R., never fear! Here’s some great music to…

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That Lady’s Got Voice

Much to my chagrin, I don’t seem to have much time for singing these days. I’ve started a new copywriting job–only part-time, but the content is challenging–and am working on a big EFL curriculum on the side (yes, these are both of my “day” jobs). Any time I have left over is split between family and finishing the rough draft of my novel, although I’ve been discouraged on that front recently. Too many rejections these days (lit mags and grants), some of which I had high hopes for, but no dice. If it’s so hard to publish in magazines, what…

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Digital Detritus Rediscovered

How much digital detritus is out there anyway? Blogs long since abandoned, dead websites afloat in whatever the Internet really is, Facebook pages last active in 2014, their only sign of life the Happy birthday!! posts that inevitably drift in year after year. My personal digital detritus? A long abandoned Myspace page I started in 2007, the dawn of social media, at least for me (a good thing or a bad thing? I’m not really sure…), my now-empty vintage clothing shop, my blog Schaufensterbabe, a few failed Etsy jewellery shops, Augenblickphoto, my Etsy shop for photographs and jewellery that I…

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The Occult And Me: A Confession

For some reason I feel like writing a post outing myself as the occultist I’ve been pretty much all of my adult life. I say “outing” because other than my partners and a few close friends, some of whom like to refer to me as “Madame Rebeccah”, most people aren’t aware of this secret part of me. I suppose some of this has to do with my own inner occult critic. Also, I did grow up in California, where half the people are into something flakey, all-is-light new age-y and the other half are blissed out Buddhists (try as I…

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5 Things I Was Reminded Of In Cali

I just got back from a trip to Cali with my daughters. Going back is always a funny experience because I can slip right back into life there like slipping on an old pair of comfortable shoes I found buried in the back on my closet. Whenever I say, drive to Peet’s Coffee and make chit chat with someone in line or say “Oh, excuse me. I’m so sorry!” when I get in somebody’s way, I always get this goofy feeling like I’m a spy who’s convinced the locals that I’m a native by doing all the right moves and…

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“Hungry Boy That Close To Danger” Published in PANK

My short story “Hungry Boy That Close To Danger” was just published in PANK. Yeah! Like all stories, this one took a while to place, and I’m really happy it got accepted by a magazine I like so much. Hungry Boy is one of those stories that came hard and fast. Well, sort of. Actually, the premise behind the story came from the one and only time I ever attempted to write and illustrate a comic. When I was in my early 20s, my somewhat-boyfriend-mostly-best-friend was a very talented, entirely self-taught comic book illustrator. He used to pen these amazing…

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